you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
