I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
