kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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