I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
