I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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