If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
