We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
