I need help removing her.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
