Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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