You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
