my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Randomize