barbara walters just said penis...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
