I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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