Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
