nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
