The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
