I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
