the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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