if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
