party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize