The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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