Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
