So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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