Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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