dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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