So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
