hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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