Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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