At least make sure they are 18
Why
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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