I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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