google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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