never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We left an ass print on the piano.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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