He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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