Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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