found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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