If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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