she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
