addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
