If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
