I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
