It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
