if i can run in heels then i can drive
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
