I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
