Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize