he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
do herpes really smell.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
