Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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