I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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