Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
