"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
