We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
