he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
