It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
