After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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