Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?

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(503): View more from Oregon

PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Her vagina smelled like chicken

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

why do you say that

(605): View more from South Dakota

chicken smells like everything

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.

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(714): View more from California

I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.

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(970): View more from Colorado

He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys

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(773): View more from Illinois

She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold

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