No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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