P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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