I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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