I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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