Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
