We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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