I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize