so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
