You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
