She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
