It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
