Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
