After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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